Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Attitude of Gratitude

day 7:  i am grateful for home.

i am truly blessed to have a husband who provides what our family needs in a home.  we don't need a huge mansion.  we don't need to be in the fanciest neighborhood.  we just need to have a roof over our heads.  a place of shelter.  heat to keep us warm.  water to clean and cook with.  electric to allow us to see and work.  most of all we need each other, all of us {tom, me, austin, trevor, dallin, haleigh (and levi our dog)}.  this does not include all of the other things we are blessed with to call our house our HOME!  thank you tom for our home.  without you, it would only be a house.  without our children, we would not be home!  i am truly grateful for my HOME!!

don't forget to be grateful for your home.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Attitude of Gratitude

day 6:  i am grateful for the privilege to vote!

i know we all do not agree the same but it is truly a privilege to vote.  much of what i stand for and the freedoms i get to eNjoY are because of my right to vote.  i hope you made your voice heard today by voting your beliefs.  truly grateful!!  wishing our country a peaceful ending to this election. 

did you vote tOdaY?

Monday, November 5, 2012

Attitude of Gratitude

day 5:  i am grateful for guardianship.

not only am i the mother of my son austin, i am his legal guardian as well.  no one ever thinks that they need guardianship over their child but in some cases, you have to.  i had to legally go to court to become his guardian and conservator.  this came with a lot of stress, many appointments, lawyers, a judge, tons of paperwork and an investigation.  wow, just to be his legal guardian.  i'm his mom, why all of this?  today we went to another one of our annual court hearing.  he was all dressed sharply with his hair styled ready to go.  the judge asked me questions then asked him questions.  then austin asked her "do you have any questions for me"?  she said "no, but do you have questions for me"  austin responded with "yes".  he asked the judge if he has to come next year because he hates missing out on his day program.  it was so cute!!  the judge answered "austin, it is always your right to come if you want too but if you don't i will make sure your mom tells you everything that happened here.  i want you to know that you are welcome to come if you want to".  he said "ok, i don't want to come".  we all chuckled.  i had a tear in my eye while i was sitting there.  thinking of all my extra responsibilities to be his guardian {even though i was already doing them}.  i though how god has entrusted me with his care.  how austin chose me.  how blessed i am.  how grown up he has become.  how he is trying everyday to be more independent.  how much i learned from this young man.  i know the challenges he took upon his self before he came to earth were not easy ones.  not may of us would choose complete blindness, retardation and autism.  this young man has blessed my life beyond words.  to know that i have him until he returns home, fills me with much gratitude.  he will not live in a group home or with someone else...he is mine.  my responsibility, my son, one of my greatest accomplishments.  thank you judge ruechel.  for allowing me to continue to be his legal guardian even though i AM already his mom.

what are you grateful for tOdaY?

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Attitude of Gratitude

day 4: i am grateful for forgiveness.

i am truly grateful for the power of forgiveness.  not only to forgive others but also myself.  it's hard to forgive but we are commanded to.  when i allow myself to forgive others i feel a huge load lifted off my shoulders.  i feel as though i can breathe easier, life seems simpler and i am much happier.  now forgiving myself...that is still a daily challenge.  though when i finally do...i can let go and move forward.  without forgiveness you are at a stand still.  stuck in a time or place that brings you much pain and heartache.  this is not how we are to live.  we are to forgive all.

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins".  ~Matther 6:14-15

is there someone {or yourself}
 that you need to forgive today?

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Attitude of Gratitude

day 3: i'm grateful for rest.

today was not a good day. i suffered from a major headache and it was not going away with anything i tried.  i however was able to just rest.  i think it is something a lot of us just take for granite.  i've struggled with sleep and headaches for a long time now.  a few years ago i finally got some much needed answered to both.  i should know when my body is telling me to slow down.  the trouble is, i don't always listen.. there is always too much to do that i don't have time to slow down.  when i don't listen to my body i surely pay the price.  so today it was just me, my blanket & pillow on the couch watching movies.  i am truly grateful for having the chance to just rest today.  i think my body is very grateful too. 

what did you do to let your body rest today?

Friday, November 2, 2012

Attitude of Gratitude

day 2:  i am grateful for that still small voice.

today i had things that needed to be done at a certain time.  i head on my merry way to get them started when i realize the place is closed for inspection.  seriously?!  no notice at all and i had to get this done. there was a number to call so i called it.  left a message and waited there 20 minutes and NOTHING.  i decided that i couldn't wait any longer and i must leave.  as i was pulling away i saw a vehicle come into the same parking lot as me. i was prompted to turned around and so i did.  {i don't know why, yes i do}  the gentlemen was going into the building i needed to get into.  i politely asked "how long it would be close" and he said "all day".  i told him who i worked for and that i really needed to get in there to do my job.  he asked how long it would take.  i responded with "it depends on how many permits there are".  he said to come in and i did.  i was able to complete my job all because i listened to a voice telling me to wait and to turn around.  sometimes when you feel or get that prompt to do something is always good to listen.  there have been many times in my life {some life and death situations} where this has happened to me.  i am so grateful to have the knowledge that i should stop and listen! 

have you ever been prompted to stop and listen?

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Attitude of Gratitude

day 1: i am so grateful for my life! 

i have had many ups and downs in my 40 years.  i have learned many lessons by trial and error.  i have made many mistakes along the way as well.  through all of this, i know that this life is a test!!  one that keeps me learning every day.  if i were not to fall and make mistakes i would never learn from them.  though there are many i wish to never make again but i am still grateful for the lesson.  i am blessed with so many happy days.  to wake up and live one more day is a true gift.  this life of mine...a true blessing!  thank you god for each day i am granted to live it. 

what are you grateful for on this first day of november?

Monday, October 29, 2012

sweEt 16!!

it's hard to believe that tOdaY my baby girl turns 16!! 
where have all the years gone? 
haleigh, being the last of my four children and the only girls
brings so much joy to my life. 
i didn't even know she was a girl until
a month before she was born. 
it was still hard to believe as a mother to my three sons
 that #4 was my little girl.

haleigh is such a wonderful young lady that is full of life.
i wanted to share some of the wonderful things about her.
*she thinks of others before herself.
*she is selfless.
*she has a smile that is really contagious.
*she loves little kids.
*she is an organizer.
*she loved dogs {really most animals}
*she is a great friend.
*she is a wonderful hugger.
*she is very caring.
*she is a good sister.
*she is full of life.
*she is a picky eater.
*she is an artist.
*she loves soccer.
*she loves her family.
*she can get her feelings hurt easily.
*she is so grateful.
*she is a tomboy that is turning into a beautiful young lady.
*she is a comedian.
*she is a great helper.
*she loves like no other.
*she is very photogenic.

today as her mom i am so thankful for her. 
i am grateful that god trusted me with her care.
i am one lucky mom to have this young lady in my life.
thank you for choosing me haleigh nicole.
i love you bug-a-boo!!

happy birthday haleigh and
eNjoY your sweet 16!!!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

words to live by!

{mom took this photo of me in pennsylvania}

thank you uncle jeff for these amaZing words!!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

you are not alone, promise! i am there too.

i have come to realize i have a problem {i know only one right, lol}.  my heart and mind aren't always in sync, on the same path.  i struggle to know which to follow, which is right?  i am hoping i am not alone in this.

i have read so many blogs, instagram posts and quotes lately that have truly inspired me.  yet, i have not done one thing about it!!  why?  why am i not making time for mE?!  why am i at this crossroad?

i have again taken a facebook break.  it's tough, but after the first week i have certainly found other things to distract me.  what i am gaining from this is that my life isn't perfect nor do i tend to let all of my "friends" think it is.  i am learning who my "true" friends are.  who really take the time to know me, care for me, love me and only want what's best for me.  what IS and SHOULD be the most important things to me.

i feel as though my heart, my soul is searching for something that i just can't find.  i can't seem to allow myself time to just be still enough to figure it out.  i know i am in desperate need of some much needed peace.  i know that it's about time i start making that time.  i know that i am in need of some outside help.  some extra guidenance.  someone or something beyond what my eyes, ears, heart and soul can grasp.  maybe it's simple or of great importance...i know i just need it.  i know i need to remember to breathe and trust in this process.  though for me, that is very difficult.  yet, that is maybe just what i need.

i know i am just rambling on.  i just wanted you all out there in blog land to know that it's ok to ask for help.  it really is ok.  to know that there are many others out there struggling.  that YOU are not alone!!  my wish...that we all find that peace that we so need and deserve.


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

a much needed "blog lift"

i thought it was about time that i gave my blog a "blog lift" {face lift}, lol. 
loving the new colors and it just makes me feel better!!

  i need to make more time to post here. 
i love to share my thoughts and feelings with others. 
my hope is that one of my posts may make your day or life a little brighter. 

i am surely not perfect and i know i never will be. 
i just hope to live my life one moment at a time. 
sometimes one step at a time.

happy tuesday to you.
may today be better than yesterday.


Wednesday, June 6, 2012

photo by mE

"for it is surely a lifetime work,
this learning to be a women."

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

happy birthday trev!!!

it's hard to believe this 4 lbs 8 oz, 7 week preemie is 20 today!!
i am truly blessed to have such an amaZing son to say happy birthday to today.
you ARE my miracle baby!!
you have been such a blessing in my life.
i can't believe how you've grown into this handsome young man.
you are so caring, kind, tender hearted, giving, talented, an amaZing writer, a musician and loving.
i hope you know how much i love you!!!
i am one truly blessed momma.
happy birthday trev!


Monday, March 12, 2012


"happiness is a butterfly which,
when pursued,
is always just beyond your grasp but which,
if you sit down quietly,
may alight upon you."
                                             ~nathaniel hawthorne

Monday, February 27, 2012

oh how this life is a struggle and then some...

it's so hard to be honest and real without feeling like you will be judged or talked about.  though i have learned that when you are find peace in sharing.  you may just lift another, remember that you don't have it that bad or you are not alone.  one of the hardest things though is to truly admit your raw emotions.

i always want people to see the good in me.  all that i have to offer.  the happy, smiley me, put together me.  no one really likes to show their naked self.  their raw self.  their insecure parts.

see i suffer from depression.  maybe saying it out loud and typing it then re-reading it may sink in for me.  funny right?  it's hard to share this sometimes.  most people tell you to "just get over it".  it's NOT that easy.  would you tell a cancer patient to "just get over it" or what about an alcoholic?  depression is REAL!  there are many forms of depressions.  there is also many forms of help.

i use to take medications for it.  now i am taking a natural supplement.  i have seen counselors, talked with friends and family members about it as well.  i have learned that i come from a long line of family members who have depression.  i know the signs but some just hits me like a wall!

why is it a quiet diseases? 
why are we ashamed to share this? 
why are we afraid to ask for help?

i think our society has made it that way.  all the negative remarks and the "just get over it" comments really made people think twice about opening up about this.  i have said a few things here and there but this time, i'm not afraid to admit it.  i know there will be those who will hold it against me.  use it to their advantage.  those that will turn away and those that will laugh at it.  i should's happened many times to me.  it's sad.  really!

it breaks my heart that i didn't get the much needed help early on in life.  i think it's because there are people that didn't want to believe it was REAL.  now as an adult i see the signs, it's just still hard to ask for help.  for me, i think i don't want to bother anyone with "my" problems, "my" life, "my" situations because it's too hard or embarrassing.  though what i am learning is I AM NOT ALONE.  there are many of us out there.  we hind behind our "mask" of smiles, happiness and the so called "perfect" life.

we all struggle.  we all have trials and challenges.  some may be harder than others but we all have pain.  our 'OWN' pain.  it HURTS! it's REAL!

the shoes i walk in everyday are so heavy loaded.  some days i can not even get out of bed.  these days may even be more than bed, alone with my thoughts and tears.  it's pretty scary too.  i feel as though at times i am fighting some kind of demon.  i feel as though its too hard to win.  too hard to keep on living.  at times there are even suicidal thoughts and suicidal attempts. 

as i was pondering this post.  i felt prompted to surf through some blogs and facebook.  i know why, i was to stop dead in my tracks.  it was to read miss margie romney-aslett blog post today.  margie had just posted a post on this very same subject.  her raw, real, private self.  you can read margie's post {HERE}.  i want to publicly thank her from the bottom of my heart for sharing.  i find at times when i read about others will help me deal and heal mine.  THANK YOU miss margie.  you seriously roCk girl. 

i hope that throughout your day today and every day you won't judge.  we all are going through some kind of trouble, trial, challenge or pain.  we just don't wear signs that tell you what they are. 

take the time to send a quick text, pick up the phone, send an e-mail, go to lunch, send a card or flowers, give a hug or some king of gesture to let others know you care.  that no matter what they are going will be there.

love to you all.

Friday, January 20, 2012

*don't quit*

don't quit when the tide is lowest,
for it's just about to turn;
don't quit over doubts and questions,
for there's something you may learn.

don't quit when the night is darkest.
for it's just a while 'til dawn;
don't quit when you've run the farthest,
for the race is almost won.

don't quit when the hill is steepest,
for your goal is almost nigh;
don't quit, for you're not a failure
until you fail to try.

~jill wolf

{all photos by mE}

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

happy birthday to my baby boy

it's hard to believe that 17 years ago today I was blessed with my third son.
i remember just like it was yesterday when he was born, every little detail.
this momma's boy has truly grown into a wonderful young man.
he is caring, kind, loving, athletic, friendly, helpful, a hard worker and tender hearted.
happy birthday dallin!
so glad to have you in my life.
i'm honored to be your mom.
I love you!!

Thursday, January 12, 2012


its truly hard for me to believe that 12 days have gone by and i have yet to post in the new year.  these last twelve days have been very busy for me.  sometimes i don't know if i am coming or going.

i finally opened up the classroom for {one little word} yesterday and felt so overwhelmed.  i know this class is truly going to help me this year.  i know my one little word "trust" will be a great word for me to listen to as well.  just finding and making time to really work with my word has been tough.  i know that at the end of 2012 this word will be in my heart forever.  i believe in this process...i just want the time to work it!  anyone else feel the same?

i was truly inspired by ali's words in this class.  her heart is so loving that you can just feel it all the way through your own computer as you listen.  i know that each of us have a path.  each of us has a purpose.  each of us struggle.  i know that if you listen with your heart, you will know what you need to do.  i know that you will follow the right course.  i just have to remember to breathe and put one foot in front of the other. 

right now...i do not "trust" myself with my health.  i know that i need to get with the program!  i know i need to get healthy for me and my family.  i am good for a week or two and then...NOTHING!  i know that no one else can light a fire under me to get moving.  it's just nice to have someone there to start it with though. 

as i continue to "trust" this process and myself i hope to find a new improved mE. 
a person i love. 
a person who is healthy. 
a person who found her aRt again. 
a person who has forgiven herself. 
a person who is happy.
a person who can love completely.
a person who knows who SHE is.
a person who can continue to forgive.
a person who is ok with change.
a person who speaks kindly.
a person who seeks good friends.
a person who can "trust".
a person who is willing to let go.
a person who is ready to fly.
a person who is always moving forward.

poem by lao tzu

welcome twenty12...i'm "trusting" that you will be good!!