Saturday, December 31, 2011

goodbye 2011

i still can't put my head around it that 2011 will be over in a matter of hours.  that 2012 will be here in no time.  all year i kept saying "this year seems to be flying by".  now as i look back on it, it really did.  a lot has happened in 2011 and i know much of what has happened i have not accepted.  there is much i learned and a lot i didn't take advantage of in 2011.  there are a lot of things i wish to forget.  there are many of things i will NEVER forget.  as the years keep coming {faster it feels like} i want to make wiser decisions on how to remember the years gone by.  i want to make each year more meaningful to me.  i want to cherish it more, love it more, nurture it, remember it, honor it and lay it to rest. 

i am going to start 2012 with a challenge.  i am going to choose ONE LITTLE WORD to live with for the entire year.  this concept was started and created by {ali edwards}.  you can read more about one little word {HERE}.  i have struggled to pick just the right word {this is very tough}.  i don't know if it's because it's my first time, because there are so many good words or just nerves.  i have been shuffling a few words around but this one keeps coming back to me.  i. don't. know. why.  i am trying not to allow other people's words to influence me in choosing my word.  after reading ali's statement of choosing a word..."This is not your mother's word or your spouse's word or your child's word - this is YOUR word" and how some words "choose YOU" i have finally decided. 

my one little word:

1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
2. confident expectation of something; hope.

3. confidence in the certainty of future payment for property or goods received; credit: to sell merchandise on trust.
4. a person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is my trust.

this word chose me.  it kept coming back to me.  i don't know why or how it will apply to me in 2012 but it's mY word.  as i embark on this new journey with one little word.  i hope you will join in as well. {HERE}  i am expecting 2012 to be an eventful and memorable year for me.  here are just some of the reasons why...
  •  i will turn the big 4-o
  • i will have been married for 2 years
  • i will have 2 children in their 2o's
  • i will be sharing in my little girl turning sweet 16
  • i will be watching my youngest son drive
  • i will be living my one little word
  • i will be setting some new goals
  • i will be remembering and cherishing each day
  • i will become healthier
  • i will fight my depression
  • i will run again
  • i will love deeper
  • i will fly
  • i will strengthen my friendships
  • i will cherish life
  • i will heal
  • i will take on new adventures
  • i will meet more of my extended family
  • i will listen
  • i will strengthen my marriage
  • i will learn
  • i will stand strong
  • i will allow more people in
  • i will walk with my head held high
  • i will smile more
  • i will live
  • i will be enough
  • i will be brave
  • i will make time for myself
  • i will remember...i AM a survivor
i am so blessed to be alive and learn from my past.  as i welcome 2012, i hope to live my life for me.  NOT for anyone else.  i hope to learn every day and make myself aware of that very moment.  all that it has, all that i can learn from, all that it will give me. 

i am thankful for YOU!  for you jumping in on my joyride of a journey.  for sharing with me, carrying me, teaching me and loving me.  i am blessed to have you in my life.  i am grateful to call you friend.

happy new year's eve.  may you have a safe & wonderful evening.  may 2012 become a great year!


Wednesday, December 21, 2011

repost of sticks & stones...

{12.14.09 this time it was
 one of my children getting hurt, not me}

**special warning**
before you read this please forgive me if i may hurt anyones feelings. that is not my intention at all! i write these words to let others know how harmful it is when you say bad things to others. as we teach others, our children and ourselves please remember names DO hurt as well as sticks and stones. if you choose not to read any further, i totally understand. it's not like i would know anyways. i just feel this is what i really need to get off my mind today.

"sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me."
i often wondered why it is that someone has to put someone else down to feel good about themselves. why they have to lash out, say bad names and curse.
is this to make them feel better?
is it so they can feel powerful?
is it because they know how the other person will feel?
is it to make a point?
i'm not sure at all why one would do this. all i know is when it happens to me, i have to remember...
what someone else says or thinks of me is none of MY business.
what they feel they need to do is only to make them feel good.
it's sad, it truly is.
you know bones heal, but names haunt you. they make you doubt yourself, wonder what you may have done to deserve the name calling, it makes you wonder the truthfulness of the calling.

i know that i am only accountable for me. that it is also my job to TEACH my children how hurtful this is. to teach them that it's NOT nice to call names, make fun of others or pick fights. it's truly sad when all of this comes from adults and they feel the need to put others down.
shame on YOU!!
what a poor excuse of an example you are. may you NEVER have someone knock you down or your children. as that would be the true sadness.
words DO hurt people!

Monday, December 19, 2011

traditions...lOvE them!

one of our family traditions is to have a bake day with oma {my mom}.  we seriously bake all day making cookies, candies and breads.  then when we are done we will make goodie plates for family, friends and our neighbors.  this is something we have been doing since my kids could walk.  oh to look back at all the pictures and the wonderful memories is just AWESOME!! 

this year we did all the baking at my house.  we also invited trevor & dallin's girlfriends {kyah & adeline}.  we got a late start on saturday and had a couple not so good turn outs but accomplished much.  yet, there were no frosted sugar cookies.  so on sunday we baked some more and MORE!!  i think i finished at about um, midnight!  i left the frosting of those remaining cookies for today.

we ended up making peppermint sugar cookies {thanks heather for the recipe and the cookies}, peanut blossoms, no bakes, frosted and decorated sugar cookies, niemen marcus cookies, carmel brownies {which didn't turn out}, chocolate peanut butter fudge, white candy, toffee and 12 loaves of banana bread!  we figured out we have about 18 plates to make up and deliver today.

i think what i loved and cherished most about this tradition and weekend was just being with my family!  teaching them, watching them, sharing with them, laughing with them and loving them.  spending the time with them for 2 whole days.  teenagers and young adults may i remind you!  i loved spending the time with my mom as well.  this was SO needed.  i think for the both of us!

this is a tradition that will NEVER get old for me.  i am so blessed my mom started it so many years ago.  i only hope i may carry this wonderful tradition on with my grandchildren as she has.  {ok, now i'm crying} 

i am truly blessed!  these past few months have had there ups and downs and i can honestly say...this weekend took that all away. 
this weekend showed me what is most important to me. 
this weekend filled my heart. 
this weekend made me laugh and cry.
this weekend i remembered those who left us way too soon.
this weekend taught me so much.
this weekend i loved deeply.
this weekend i gave much.
this weekend was really special to me. 
this weekend was AWESOME.
this weekend MEMORIES were made. 
this weekend will always be PRICELESS.

i hope you all have a fuN, fabulous weekend making memories with those you love.  i am blessed every day with so much.  i am grateful for all of my trials and tribulations as they have brought me right here.  to this very place.  to this very moment.  for that i am one truly happy, brave, strong, loving girl!

what family traditions do you LOVE?

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

loving YOU

today i am filled with  loVe.

thanks for continuing to go along on this journey with me. 

i hope your day is filled with all the things you love and hold dear.

i hope to catch you all up as soon as life slows down, lol.

don't think that will happen anytime soon. 

so this is it for now...

know you are loved, yes YOU!!