Friday, August 6, 2010

i am learning each and every day what is truly important in this life. i am taking baby steps to find ME and be the person I want to be. i can't give myself and of myself as i have in the past. i felt as though what i WAS giving, was NEVER enough or NEVER good enough. it's hard to change that after sooo very many years. it's hard to tell yourself...you ARE good! that you do have a lot to give and to offer others. i am also learning that it's ok to take time for yourself to re-organize and rejuvenate...your heart, body, mind and spirit. by doing so, you find your inner truth, the best of YOU! what i find beautiful in this life has made realize what is important in this life...family and friends!

my family is the most important, special gift that i have been blessed with. i don't know where i would be or what i would be doing without them. my kids have blessed my life for over 19 years. i have grown with them as well as grown up. they have given me trials and blessing to strengthen me. i have learned so very much from them. i was blessed to have had a man give me these 4 beautiful gifts. each one of them have such a sweet spirit.

austin has given me more than he will EVER know or understand in this life. my life has been truly enriched and touched by him. if you haven't been touched by his smile or sweet spirit, you my friend, have missed out.

trevor, my miracle baby! his talents are so incredible that a mother could not be more pleased. his heart is so full of love that very few will ever get the chance to share. i hope that one day...he will share it with the world.

dallin always was a momma's boy. he is such a go-getter. his tender heart is one that will win everyone over with. through his struggles he finds a way to work through it and sports has help a lot. something i admire in him is his determination. no mater the outcome, he just picks up the pieces and moves along.

my baby girl, haleigh! she is truly a light at the end of a dark tunnel. her sense of humor will turn any bad day to a good one. to live with three strong brothers is a good thing for her. she will ALWAYS be protected!! i have always said good things come in small packages and how this is so true to her as well. she has been such a strong girl to have been through so much in her short life.

god has truly given me the best gift ever to be a mom to these 4 amaZing children!!

a second chance at love and true happiness is such a special gift. to be loved unconditional, no matter what, is true HAPPINESS! i found my best friend in a man who knows who HE is. who excepts the good and the bad. who has taken on more than he should have. who doesn't go to bed without saying goodnight and i love you. who loves me more than i have ever been loved. who loves my children and family for WHO they are. who smiles at the simple things and laughs at the bad things and moves on. who wakes up ever day starting it new and with a clean slate. who says "good morning my love" each and every morning. who wants only the best for this life. who has found his everything and for that...i am one luCkY lady! tom, thank you for loving me everyday. for teaching me how to have fuN. for sharing your life with me and the kids. for allowing me to be ME and not somebody you want me to be. for giving me strength everyday to see what is most important. for supporting me through counseling, life retreats, family time and our time. you my love, my husband, my best friend make me smile everyday!!

my extended family...oh i wouldn't even be here without them. literally, had to have a man and women to get me here, lol. was getting too sentimental. no seriously...i have a wonderful mother, two fathers, 4 brothers, 1 sister, grandparents, many aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews. i also have a wonderful father-in-law and mother-in-law who have taken me, my children and family into their family. what a true humble blessing.

i swear my friends are part of my family. i don't seem to have trouble making friends. i have always loved meeting new people. i do keep them really close to me and my heart. i have been blessed with so many great people in my life. some really close, some at a distant, work friends, and friends through family and friend. wow, BLESSED! i am learning as well that you can have many friends and where those friends stand in my life. how near or far they may be. that there is much to learn and gain from these friends of mine. that in time you may need to de-clutter your life and sometimes that may be friends as well. and you know what, that is OK!! i have gotten and they have received all that could be from the friendship and it's time to move on. sometimes it's really hard and sad but most of the time...it's a good thing.

this life is a true learning experience! what i have learned, what i am still learning and what i can't wait to learn... is so exciting!

peace is coming...i can feel it!

2 comments:

Christi said...

I love the way you write and
express yourself though words
I wish I could
I miss you girl

BonnieRose said...

Love this.. oh so beautiful.
I am with u every step on this journey... xooxox hugs to you