Friday, November 27, 2009

happy birthday austin!!

i can't believe my baby boy is 19 tOdaY!! where did all those years go? haPpY biRthdaY austin joe!! i love you with all my heart. thAnK yOu for all the joy you bring into my life and showing me the beauty of it through your eyes. my life has been blessed to have you as my son. i am honored and privileged that GOD allowed me to be your mother. on the day you were brought here to earth, you choose mE! thank you for being the lovable, special son that you are. love, mom

Friday, November 13, 2009

why is it that when we hear of good things happening to others we are so excited? we smile and cheer for them, their good fortune or maybe their accomplishment.

now think of your own...
when you accomplish something how do you feel?
when happiness comes your way?
when you get good news?

is it hard for you to pat yourself on the back?
is it hard for you to take that compliment?
why is this???

do we feel like we are less than others?
do YOU feel like you are less than others?

i know for me i have done this. i feel like i don't deserve it. i don't deserve the happiness that comes from the accomplishment or compliments. i have to fight to allow myself the same kind of cheer as i give others.

i am one who struggles with deserving it. in my many years i have been told i wasn't good enough, pretty enough, smart enough and the list goes on. with many years of this a person begins to believe this.

now that i have clean out my "c" house. i am learning to start again. live again. believe again. it just doesn't come easy. i think it will take years to repair some of the damage my "c" house has done to me. i just have to remember that i do deserve it.

i deserve fuN.
i deserve happiness.
i deserve love.
i deserve friends.
i deserve dreams.
i deserve it all!!

share the joys of others and share in your own as well.

"for it is surely a lifetime work, this learning to be a women."
~may sarton