Saturday, October 27, 2007

overwhelmed of emotions...

how is it that when you are all full of emotion you can't get the words out. i have been dealing with this all week. so much to say and can't find the right words. through out this week i have been happy, sad, giggly, depressed, loved, tiRed, sick, afraid, overwhelmed and soooo much more. i have been thinking way to much lately about lifE...mY lifE. what do i want to accomplish, where do i want to be, what dreams do i want to reach, how do i want to be remembered, am i a good mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter, cousin and niece. am I all i want to be? no, i don't want to join the service (though i am very thankful for my brother and sister who served). i am just mixed up and confused. does any one else out there feel like this? is this just and early mid-life crisis i am experiencing? i have had so much laid on mE this week that i can't seem to take one more thing. i should remember that i CAN'T solve the world's problems. that i CAN'T always be there for everyone (right jo ann)? that again...sometimes... i need to take care of me. i am trying really hard to learn this. i am trying to listen to what i am told by all. this is a true challenge for me. i have never been one to apply what i am being told, to take my own advise. for me, it is easier to give it than take it. how do we do this and not feel selfish? i guess it all comes down to balance and self esteem. i need to work on this. i need and have been told to go back and read what i have written. do i have to? i don't want to? did i really say that? ok, i will try that's all that counts, right? to try? now that i have pretty much made no sense i need to go to bed. i have not gotten enough sleep all week. that's probably my problem. ok, just another excuse. *hugs* boy i could use one right about now. connie

ps. i need to send my prayers and best wishes to angela moore and her family. she just received her new heart! may God continue to bless you and give you strength to heal.


D. said...

We need to check the family tree...are we related? :)

Bradley said...

It's the old story of "Physician, heal thyself!" We are all guilty of it. Don't let it bother you. You know in your heart what you need to do and that is all that matters. Don't feel selfish for wanting to make everone else wait a while. You gotta do what you gotta do.